“All American” dreams of our mothers

Last night Vice President Kamala Harris delivered a historic speech at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, accepting the presidential nomination from the party.  I wanted to share some of my own reflections on it, zeroing on a very specific part of the speech. But, before I get to that  part, please allow me to recollect a memory from about 27 years ago in Boston.

It was Fall of 1998. I was in my third year of law school and was hanging out on a weekend evening with a couple of friends at a bar near Copley Square when my friend introduced yours truly  to a couple of his mutual acquaintances.  I struck up a good conversation with one of those newly made friends. We were having a good chat and at some point talk turned to what we wanted to do beyond law school. It was then I shared my general plan of going down to Washington, getting fully involved in a career in which law, policy, and politics interacted with each in the hopes of making the world a better place.  No doubt I sounded naive and probably hopelessly  idealistic. But, at the moment the woman I was chatting with gently said without missing a beat  along the lines of “you are pursuing an “All American” dream kid but it is not for everyone unless you have the profile of a JFK or Bill Clinton.”

Ooof. Yeah, even someone as naive as me got it right away.

I still remember the moment when she said those words and I remember telling myself something along the lines, “I don’t think this girl is being mean or anything. She is probably just trying to share the world of reality around me.” 

Whatever I felt - it didn’t feel super great. It didn’t feel great when I came back that evening and didn’t have anything to talk through about it. There were certainly no social media platforms to talk through our feelings about it. As another Gen X-er, just had to internalize those words, file them away and move on with my life focusing on what I needed to.

I didn’t think about that evening again until I heard these words from the Vice President last night on the radio as I was driving my daughter back home from her soccer practice (emphasis mine throughout):

I see an America where we hold fast to the fearless belief that built our nation. That inspired the world. That here, in this country, anything is possible. Nothing is out of reach.

An America, where we care for one another, look out for one another, and recognize that we have so much more in common than what separates us. That none of us has to fail for all of us to succeed. And that, in unity, there is strength.

Our opponents in this race are out there, every day, denigrating America. Talking about how terrible everything is. Well, my mother had another lesson she used to teach. Never let anyone tell you who you are. You show them who you are.

America, let us show each other—and the world—who we are. And what we stand for. Freedom. Opportunity. Compassion. Dignity. Fairness. And endless possibilities.

We are the heirs to the greatest democracy in the history of the world. And on behalf of our children and grandchildren, and all those who sacrificed so dearly for our freedom and liberty, we must be worthy of this moment. It is now our turn to do what generations before us have done. Guided by optimism and faith, to fight for this country we love.

To fight for the ideals we cherish.

And to uphold the awesome responsibility that comes with the greatest privilege on Earth. The privilege and pride of being an American.

Yeah. Those words got me and took me instantly back to that evening in Boston nearly 27 something years ago when someone told me anyone who looks like me will never be an “All-American.”

You see, nothing is a sure thing in politics. We have 74 something days to go. And, we all know too well that we cannot take anything for granted. But, what I do know is how powerful those words felt to this 50 year old Gen X-er. Heading into yesterday evening, I had already been thinking about my Mom, who also years after Shyamala Harris crossed the world to come to California to pursue the so-called American dream that sometimes sounds so trite in over used cliches in often cynical world of politics. Yet I felt those words deep in my bones and I am pretty sure I wasn’t the only one.

The Vice President’s words also relate back to what former First Lady Michele Obama reflected on earlier in the week in perhaps the best speech I have ever heard in a Democratic Convention (well my memory goes only back to 1988) in my lifetime. 

Michelle Obama told us in her words what it means to be an an American:

Look, Kamala knows, like we do, that regardless of where you come from, what you look like, who you love, how you worship, or what’s in your bank account, we all deserve the opportunity to build a decent life. All of our contributions deserve to be accepted and valued. Because no one has a monopoly on what it means to be an American. No one.

Kamala has shown her allegiance to this nation, not by spewing anger and bitterness, but by living a life of service and always pushing the doors of opportunity open to others. She understands that most of us will never be afforded the grace of failing forward. We will never benefit from the affirmative action of generational wealth. If we bankrupt the business or choke in a crisis, we don’t get a second, third, or fourth chance. If things don’t go our way, we don’t have the luxury of whining or cheating others to get further ahead. No. We don’t get to change the rules, so we always win. If we see a mountain in front of us, we don’t expect there to be an escalator waiting to take us to the top. No. We put our heads down. We get to work. In America, we do something. 

Michele Obama also invoked her mother while talking about Kamala’s:

Kamala Harris and I built our lives on those same foundational values. Even though our mothers grew up an ocean apart, they shared the same belief in the promise of this country. That’s why her mother moved here from India at 19. It’s why she taught Kamala about justice, about the obligation to lift others up, about our responsibility to give more than we take. She’d often tell her daughter: “Don’t sit around and complain about things. Do something.” 

Do something - indeed.

Now let’s make something clear - these speeches are not panaceas for all the big, structural changes many of us are fighting for to make this beautiful country and the world a better place.  Yes, I know we are going to need to push the Vice President and the leaders of the Democratic more than ever when it comes to issues of immigration, climate change, social justice in all our righteous fights to keep the arc of our collective moral universe bending towards justice.  We all need to keep doing our little parts - doing something.

But, let’s go back to our mothers because I went to sleep last night thinking about my Mom. She along with Dad did something more than powerful when they moved across the world nearly four decades in pursuit of their dreams, making unimaginable sacrifices without seeing their full returns before they went up to heaven. 

I am sure somewhere up in the stars Rehana Zaheed was shedding tears of joy last night watching someone who looks like Kamala Harris delivering a generational speech the impact of which went well beyond politics. 

Vice President Harris along with Michelle Obama redefined this past week what it means to be an "All American." The impact of that will be transcendental - it will be generational and I am hopeful that will get us to a world and an American with endless possibilities.

Big dreams never die.